A failure of internet...

This is my blog from friday, but it just wouldn't post, and doesn't it always go, it was time specific!!! Arrrrgghhh!!!! Anyways, here goes. ::sheepish smile::

Today is a very important day for me, because it is a very important day in the life of somebody I love. Today my best friend in the whole wide world is going to graduate from high school, and I’m not going to be there to see it. It will be the first major event in our lives for which we are not together.

As much as I am happy here, enjoying myself, having insane and amazing experiences, I miss home. I miss all of you, I miss Portland, I miss my security and I REALLY miss my anonymity. I am experiencing racism here, every day, and it is harder than you can even imagine. I cannot walk anywhere without people staring at me. I cannot do anything without people remarking on it. Everyone knows who I am, everyone talks about me, it’s bizarre, and I often feel as though I’m an animal in a zoo. I was very unhappy that I didn’t make more local friends, but it’s hard when they can’t connect with you at all. Like, I try to be as open and friendly as possible, but they just can’t get over the color of my skin. When I come home I am going to volunteer against racism. It makes you feel so low, so alone, so….debased. No one should ever have to suffer that. People are people, the more I travel the more I understand that. And speaking of traveling, I’ve decided to come home in the end of July, to come be in my beloved Portland, and just live and work and possibly take some college classes, but I’m really more interested in making some decent money to go to Cape Town with, so if anyone spots a job for me, let me know!!!

I am quite settled here now; my daily routine has fallen into a pattern, altered only by one thing. When I fell off that horse in Tofo, it turns out that I fractured one of my vertebrae, the fourth from the bottom… This is pretty serious, and while fortunately it doesn’t pose any immediate problems, chances are that it will in the future. So I’m taking it easy, dieting and exercising as best I can, it’s hard to lose weight when you’re not supposed to do strenuous exercise, and this Africa rice baby has got to go!!! I’m about twenty pounds over where I should be, and the less I weigh the better it is for my back.

However, this is a bit difficult in that the education system here frustrates me to the point of tears, and what helps a girl feel better more than some fresh white bread and a generous helping of nutella?? I truly despair. The kids here are so underprivileged in so many ways, and no one cares. I feel like I’m trying to move a mountain here, and it’s just laughing at me. Luckily, I am resilient, and am attempting to locate some earth movers. J

I know it’s a common complaint among aid workers, and I’m sure that I’ll be fine, at least I’m still moving forward. And I have all of your smiling faces to look forward to!!!

So don’t miss me too much, I’ll be back before you know it.

Love

allie